


Watching, Waiting

by Titanmaster_117



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, F/M, Horror, Hurt No Comfort, In a way, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, Psychological Horror, Return by Death (Re:Zero), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titanmaster_117/pseuds/Titanmaster_117
Summary: In the darkness, she would sit and watch.SO WOULD SHE.
Relationships: Natsuki Subaru/Satella
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	Watching, Waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reactionist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reactionist/gifts), [returnbydeath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/gifts), [samisawesam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisawesam/gifts), [Neisseria_Meningitidis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neisseria_Meningitidis/gifts), [qmzr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qmzr/gifts), [Flamingogogoogly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingogogoogly/gifts), [victoriousdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousdragon/gifts), [suffaru41](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffaru41/gifts).



2 sat in a garden of death and undeath.

One was a maiden lost.

The other was a demon found.

Both of them stared through the void of Od Laguna's opposite, through the veil of the Witch Factor of Envy, down onto their beloved.

The man they would kill for.

The man they would die for.

The man they would die to.

Natsuki Subaru.

He was lost to himself, and yet found by others. Cast astray by his own demons, but still finding the shore once more, despite the horrors of the tide.

Surviving and fighting on for another day, again and again and again.

Fighting to save the ones that he loved, over and over again.

_**EVEN IF HE HAD TO DIE TO DO IT.** _

Staring death in the eye again and again...

To feel its grasp.

To be embraced by the metallic taste of blood in the mouth, the rotting stench of decaying corpses, to be torn and shredded and maimed and slaughtered again and again, with no hope, no witness, and no reward, to know that there was no one in the world who could truly understand the horrors that he had seen- The suffering that he had gone through-

_**EXCEPT FOR HER.** _

-Surely it was enough to drive even the most sane of people mad.

Perhaps, for him, it already had driven him to madness.

She wept for his soul. She wept for his being. She wept for her beloved.

She prayed for the day where he would finally see that which she saw in him- Which others saw in him. She prayed for the day where he could finally look himself in the mirror and, instead of looking away in disgust, look into his own sharp, nasty eyes and see himself for the amazing man that he truly was.

_**SHE CARED NOT FOR THESE THINGS. HE WAS HERS, NO MATTER WHAT STATE HE WAS IN. WAS IT NOT MORE LOVING TO ACCEPT HIM FOR WHAT HE IS INSTEAD OF PRAYING FOR HIM TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT HE ALREADY IS? WHO IS TRULY THE MORE LOVING NOW?** _

She was saddened that he could not talk to anyone about this. About his struggles. About his fears. About his wept tears. About the horrors and nightmares and oceans of blood that he had spilled from himself.

All because of her.

All because she had trapped him within her own vices.

Within her own arms of darkness and shadow.

Within her poisoned embrace.

_**SHE DID NOT CARE FOR SUCH PETTY THINGS. SUBARU WAS HERS HERS HERS HERS HERS HERS HERS HERS. ONLY SHE COULD UNDERSTAND HIM. ONLY SHE COULD GIVE HIM PEACE HAPPINESS TRUE LOVE AND IF ANYONE TRIED TO INTERFERE WITH THAT THEN THEY WOULD DIE. IT WAS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.** _

She wished that this lock did not exist.

She wished that this curse did not exist.

She wished that he could find happiness in the world that he had been taken too.

Against his own will.

She hated herself most for that of all.

_**SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS UNHAPPY THERE. WITH THOSE WORTHLESS CREATURES THAT DARED TO THINK THEMSELVES OF HIS WORTHY PROGENITORS. IF THEY COULD NOT PROVIDE HIM OF THE LOVE THAT HE NEEDED, THEN THEY DID NOT DESERVE TO HOLD HIM IN THEIR ARMS. IN HIS WORLD, HE FINALLY KNOWS HAPPINESS. HE FINALLY KNOWS VALUE. HE FINALLY KNOWS LOVE.** _

_**OUR LOVE.** _

_**MY LOVE.** _

At the cost of himself? His own being? His own life? His own soul? Again and again?

_**SILENCE, YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO SPEAK. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING FOR HIM.** _

Nor have you.

_**HOW DARE YOU. I HAVE GIVEN HIM EVERYTHING, AND I SHALL GIVE HIM SO MUCH MORE.** _

You have given him a curse. You have given him a festering disease that rots away what little self-worth he still has.

_**AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? A LITTLE PAMPERING SPEECH, AND NOTHING MORE. IF I AM UNWORTHY OF HIM, THEN YOU ARE EVEN MORE SO.** _

You think that I am unaware of that? I have accepted my sins. I cannot wait for the day in which he finally ends our scourge and sends us to the rightful hell that we deserve.

_**THEN YOU ARE A SUICIDAL FOOL. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND HIM. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO TOUCH HIM, KISS HIM, TALK TO HIM, LISTEN TO HIM, HOLD HIM IN MY EMBRACE.** _

You shall do nothing of the sort. You are a demon born from my own mistakes. A creature cast from my own stupidity and selfishness.

_**WELL, ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH? YOU BIRTHED ME FROM YOURSELF. YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME, 'THE GREATEST SCOURGE THIS WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN'. THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT, AND MY REWARD.** _

Your reward? You poisoned him! You murdered his body and souls countless times with his authority!

_**FUNNY, DID YOU NOT ALSO HAVE A HAND IN CRAFTING HIS AUTHORITY AS WELL? WHICH ONE WAS IT AGAIN? PRIDE? ENVY? I CAN NEVER REMEMBER.** _

When we crafted it, it was not I who created the decree that he would speak to no one about it. T'was not I who decreed that he could not share his pain with those that he loved.

_**THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON THAT HE LOVES, AND IT IS ME. THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON THAT HE CAN SHARE HIS SUFFERING WITH, AND IT IS ME. NO ONE ELSE IS WORTHY OF HIS TOUCH. NOT THE ONI WOMAN, NOT THE SPIRIT CHILD, NOT THAT CHEAP IMPOSTER. NO ONE. WHY ELSE WOULD WE HAVE BROUGHT HIM INTO THIS WORLD IF NOT TO BE IN MY OWN EMBRACE, ANYWAYS?** _

He should never have come to this world. This place, and the waterfall that surrounds it... It is a nightmare. A shambling zombie of civilisation, bent on twisting and warping him into something that he is not. Something lesser than himself. A warped monster. You have seen the parallels- The alternatives. The monsters that he became. You know of what he can become because of us.

_**AND YET DOES IT MATTER? IT IS STILL HIM, MONSTER OR NOT. IT IS STILL NATSUKI SUBARU, NO MATTER WHAT SHAPE OR FORM HE MIGHT TAKE. AND WHEN THE TIME COMES, HE WILL ACCEPT OUR LOVE. OUR EMBRACE. AND WE WILL BE WEDDED TOGETHER, FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.** _

_**AND BESIDES, DID YOU NOT AGREE TO BRING HIM TO THIS WORLD AS WELL?** _

…

_**HYPOCRITE.** _

She knew that there was no way to convince her of anything else. She would be stuck in her poisonous ways from now until the end of time. Content with torturing and punishing the one that they loved the most for even trying to speak about his sufferings.

_**BECAUSE IT IS OUR SECRET TO SHARE. OUR BOND TO HAVE. TO LET ANYONE ELSE KNOW OF IT IS TO POLLUTE AND CORRUPT IT. LEAVE IT FESTERING LIKE AN OPEN WOUND.** _

It was a wound. To their beloved's very soul.

He had already gone through so much.

And had yet to go through so much more.

_**ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE.** _

Many would look upon them, and then him, and wonder: Why him? Why him specifically? What had he done that had garnered him their attention?

_**THEY WERE ALL IGNORANT FODDER FOR THE MONSTERS BELOW.** _

That was a question in which the people who knew the answer could be counted on one hand, and with fingers to spare.

Their minds were unknown, so twisted and corrupted that not even the Witch of Greed, whom thirsted for all knowledge, wished to know of the inner machinations of the worlds called their minds.

Ultimately, their motivations were only known to them and them alone. It was their shared secret, their unspoken secret.

_**BUT DO NOT FEAR, FOR ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN TIME.** _

And so, Satella and the Witch of Envy would continue to look down upon their beloved, one in angst at his suffering, wishing that he would finally see the value in himself, just like those that truly loved him did, and the other blinded by their own jealously and envy, wishing to be the one to touch and hold him, forever and ever _**AND EVER.**_

Soon, he would find them.

Soon, he would free them.

And soon, he would be freed from them, by them.

_**NO MATTER HOW MANY OF HIS OWN CORPSES HE WOULD MAKE.** _


End file.
